Eta Wardana

Mimpi Itu Masih Membara

Bukankah patahan pisau di bawah kaki tak sesakit rasa kehilanganmu akan jati diri?

Seperti berjalan di atas jembatan
serasa menyeberangi sungai yang salah
Untaian bunga dalam pelukan
dan air mata dari langit yang terbelah

Badai yang Menumbuhkan Bara #2: Terbakarnya Hati

Mereka berdua menolak untuk melangkahi batas yang Bumi ciptakan.

Kediaman House of Ruby, 16 tahun sebelum Pembinasaan.
Musim panas, sehari sebelum ulang tahun Carmen yang ke-27.

Bahkan setelah sepuluh, dua puluh, hampir tiga puluh tahun, Carmen belum pernah merasakan jatuh cinta.

The Ghost of Night

Tell me I’m real without saying you are not.

Photos by pedrofigueras from pixabay and Chris Gonzales from Pexels.

Tell me I have someone I need to move on from.

Untuk Yang Menjadi Pertama

Itu adalah kau yang mungkin tak lagi kukenal. Itu adalah kau yang selalu ingin kukenang.

Aku melupakanmu berkali-kali. Aku mengingatmu lagi dan lagi.

Ada sesuatu yang konstan dalam perasaan mendamba yang tak berani kuungkapkan ini. Ada sesuatu yang tak berubah bahkan setelah bertahun-tahun aku mencoba berpaling.

Why I Write Gratitude List and How It Helps My Mental Health

After a terrible experience, some things inside you change while some others remain. A gratitude list will show you how the new you see the world again.

March 11, 2022 – Listening to Sture Zetterberg’s Come on Heartbreaker.

I don’t remember the first time I’ve heard the term ‘gratitude list’ or how that habit was included in my daily tracker at first. All I know is that at difficult times, this act of taking a little list of all things I’m grateful for in life has saved me many times.

Once Upon Lovers

We were once lovers who timidly whispered the wish of staying together forever.

It’s strange. I thought the day I hear your name and don’t feel like pierced by a thousand swords would never come, but here it was.

Here today was.

Rose, Sun, and Rain

Two of one peculiar kind, grasping the same space underneath the sky. That’s who they are, that’s what they are.

Photos by Abhishek Gaurav and Vlad Bagacian from Pexels.

She is a girl learning to love,
dazzled by the way a hand is reaching out.
For the first time ever,
she knows she is wanted.

Different from Yesterday

I count the stars when the sky is empty, since I know somewhere beyond that obscurity is where you reside.

Photos by Karoline Grabowska from Pexels.

I miss you only when I’m lonely, so surely this is not love. Your warmth is no longer something I can easily remember. The memory of your voice fades but your face doesn’t. Am I shallow to be enchanted by a good lock, still encapsulated by a touch of childhood’s purity? Or am I shallow for desiring someone’s presence when my heart don’t particularly beat for them consistently?

Someone in the Highlight

You were a kid running away from home, but you were also eighteen. The world thought you did not deserve even a tiny bit of pity.

You left the house when you were eighteen. Contrary to what you’d previously believed, the sky was so bright it hurt your eyes. It was as if the world was celebrating while your heart broke into pieces you had no time to collect.

In Between

I was — I am — taking a new path, leaving all the burdens behind. Those boring black shoes. The inconvenient long-sleeved shirt. Words that got swallowed up in fear. Most importantly the fear itself.

Remember the dawn at the harbour when we stood few feet apart, watching the crowds gathering as the moon hide behind some obscure gray clouds? You think it’s the end, but for me it’s the beginning.

I guess something did end back then though. Maybe it’s the affection, or simply the care. Nothing important since as I’ve said, for me, that was the beginning.