Too Much Darkness for Rainbow

The sun breaks through layers of curtains, colouring the room red. My heart is still beating even when each thump feels like a kick to the chest.

Photos by Thiago Matos (right) and Valeriia Miller (left) from Pexels.

When my tears overflow, I wonder: is it you I hate or is it me? The sun breaks through layers of curtains, colouring the room red. My heart is still beating even when each thump feels like a kick to the chest. Is it grief that leaves me broken or is it anger? Am I sad ’cause you’re gone or am I angry ’cause I’m not the one who cuts you off? Am I selfish for not wanting it to end or am I stupid for hanging onto something that’s destined to break apart?

Sragen, 23rd of July, 2021

(Note: title taken from ROSÉ’s song, “GONE“.)


Author: Eta Wardana

I love a world made of stories, music, beautiful illustrations, warm drink, fresh fruits, and an ocean of knowledge.

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