Illustrated Journaling Challenge Day #14 – Last Message

When you hear ‘illustrated journaling’, you’ll think about less words and more drawings, right? But I can’t bring myself to do that. I love words. I am comfortable with words. And even doing little drawing every now and then feel scarier than it should.

24/01/2021 – Listening to Rick Producer’s Aventura.

I can’t believe that I finally finish this challenge. Fourteen days feel like a lot when I first started out, but now it doesn’t seem as burdening. I can’t say that my drawing skill has improved or anything though. After all, most of the illustrations I did was done based on drawings on Pinterest. Also I didn’t quite do the challenge as I was supposed to. When you hear ‘illustrated journaling’, you’ll think about less words and more drawings, right? But I can’t bring myself to do that. I love words. I am comfortable with words. And even doing little drawing every now and then feel scarier than it should.

So I am glad that I finally manage to finish this. At least drawing doesn’t feel as intimidating as it used to be. I feel less pressure to use colour. As you may have noticed, I mainly use light purple and black. On one occasion, brown. I also don’t sketch. All of the drawings were done in a single take. No eraser. No pencil. Just black gel pen and colour pens, with the help of a ruler.

It does make me want to explore more of my drawing skills, though. I love bullet journaling and sometimes doodling, but calligraphy is usually more of my thing. Next time, I want to get a little bit bolder and try out more complex stuffs.

Can’t wait for that day to come, right?

Illustrated Journaling Challenge Day #13 – How I Use Meditation App in My Daily Life

I once used Calm. I used to use Headspace too. Now I’m using Riliv, simply because it’s more affordable than the other two and it is in Indonesian.

23/01/2021 – Listening to Taylor Swift’s the lakes.

I once used Calm. I used to use Headspace too. Now I’m using Riliv, simply because it’s more affordable than the other two and it is in Indonesian.

When I was using Calm, I mainly meditated in the morning, just right after waking up. I would open my eyes, reach out for my phone, and open the app. Each meditation session took less than fifteen minutes. After weeks doing this routine, I realized that meditating in the morning when you’re living with four other people was not a good idea. At least not for me. It was too hectic. I had to wake up at 3 am if I wanted to find some peaceful moments. I also tended to fall back to sleep after meditating, which was terrible for my 8 am classes. So I switched to afternoon meditation. At the same time, I switched to Headspace.

Headspace was cute. I prefer Calm’s narrator’s voice, but Headspace worked too. At least for some time. Afternoon meditation meant I sneaked out after eating lunch to the lake near my college’s library. I would sit under a big tree’s shadow, a bit farther from other people who spent lunch break conversing with friends. Afternoon meditation meant I was trying to de-stress. Trying to regain my balance back. I stopped doing this routine after a while because I realized that I was not spending enough time with my friends, since I was too lazy to come back to where they were when I was already comfortable sitting near the lake.

During this pandemic, I use Riliv. Since the meditation guide is in Indonesian, I don’t need to try too hard on listening. With Calm and Headspace, there were times when I was not sure what the narrator was saying. With Riliv, understanding comes easily. I begin to meditate after finish journaling in the night, right before bedtime. It helps me with insomnia and anxiety. It is also more convenient since I know I can meditate for however long I want to.

My meditation habit comes from a long time of trial and error. Trying to figure out the perfect style, the perfect medium, the perfect duration, the perfect time, even the perfect language. Each trial and error is helpful. It gives me clarity on what I truly need. For now, what I need are a way to de-stress, coping with anxiety, and dealing with insomnia. Some people might use meditation for different purpose, in a different way. It might feels different too for each of them. They might not even need meditation at all. The important thing is to experiment, trying to find out whether it is working or not, why, and how to deal with it.

Illustrated Journaling Challenge Day #12 – Human is Not Made for Loneliness

My father owns many birds. Originally there are three couples of birds. Now they have grown in quantity. Two weeks ago, we got three new baby birds. I remembered when they crawled from their egg shells, staying silent for the rest of the day. They were so small, so fragile. Their parents noisily hovered above them, trying to protect them whenever there were humans nearby. […]

22/01/2021 – Listening to Taeyeon’s Stay.

My father owns many birds. Originally there are three couples of birds. Now they have grown in quantity. Two weeks ago, we got three new baby birds. I remembered when they crawled from their egg shells, staying silent for the rest of the day. They were so small, so fragile. Their parents noisily hovered above them, trying to protect them whenever there were humans nearby.

When I look at the baby birds again this morning, they’re no longer babies. They have grown in size. Their wings look stronger now. They used to just snuggle in the nest, almost unmoving. Now they jump. They fly. They make noises. Their parents no longer try to protect them.

I am amazed by how fast they’ve grown. If my father moved the little birds to another cage, I guess their parents will not look for them anymore. The moment they can fly and eat by themselves, they are free. Unattached. Unburdened. Independent. Other birds will still look at them as part of them–as birds–but not as children anymore. That phase of theirs is over.

The same thing cannot be said for human. It takes years for us to grow independent. It will take decades before we can finally be called a person, not an extension of our parents. Even then, we’re still a part of them. They’re still a big part of ourselves. If I go missing for days or weeks, my mother will get worried. If I make terrible mistakes and get into jail somehow, for example, my parents’ name will be still dragged into my business. And vice versa.

It’s not a bad thing per se. It means that we always have someone behind our back. It means we’re never alone.

But thinking about those little birds, I wonder.

If one of them get caught in terrible matter, would other bird come to save them too?

Illustrated Journaling Challenge Day #11 – Vacation

21/01/2021 – Listening to TWICE’s Rainbow.

For my mother, vacation means beach. She loves swimming (or at least I think she loves the thought of playing with water). I personally think lake or river is better. I don’t like the humid weather of a beach. Unless it is during rain, but people don’t usually go to beach when it is raining. I like trees better. And mountains. I like place with a lot of shadows, rain, and wind. I love cloudy days. I love thunderstorms. I love windy days when I have to wear my thickest jacket, my boots, socks, and bring umbrella everywhere I go.

I love staying in my room more. I love good books. I love sweet drinks and sweet foods. I love good music. I love good movies.

Vacation for my mother means outdoor. Vacation for my younger sister usually means some place like amusement park or mall. For me, it’s just home and spending a lot of time with my books, my Disney+ Hotstar app, and maybe throw some trees in between.

Sure, it can get boring sometimes. When there is no interesting book on my list. When characters in the movies I watch being stupid and not fun. When I am craving for some junk food (can someone deliver pizza to the countryside?). When I literally have nothing to do that it feels like I’m going to lose my mind (when will the holiday be over?).

For the last six years, vacation usually means simply being with my family. After three years of living in high school dormitory and another three years going away for college, holiday just simply means being at home, waking up to the sound of my mother cooking breakfast, my father watering his plants, and my siblings either still in dreamland or struggling to wake up just like I probably am. Somehow after six years, going on a vacation to another city simply feels more like work to me. For me, real vacation is at home. Boring as it might be, but vacation it is for me.

Illustrated Journaling Challenge Day #6: Love Hanging from the Heart

The truth is we humans can’t separate ourselves from love. Be it platonic love or romantic love.


16/01/2021 – Listening to Rei Yasuda’s Brand New Day.

Genre I consume the most is probably romance. Romance novels, romance comic, romance drama (is there any drama that isn’t romance in some way?); you name it. I write love poem. I tell story of love. Songs in my playlist are mostly love songs.

The truth is we humans can’t separate ourselves from love. Be it platonic love or romantic love. Love to family members, love to friends, love to things: the smell after rain, the sweetness of shortcake you pick up after work, the breeze when you open your window in the morning. And therefore, we cannot separate ourselves from hate too. Because when we love something (someone), it is because there are other things that we hate too.

Illustrated Journaling Challenge Day #5: Princess in Flower Crown

Can I get my flower crown, build my own kingdom, and rule over my people with wisdom and generosity and a lot of affections?


15/01/2021 – Listening to ラックライフ’s 「名前を呼ぶよ」。

Haven’t all girls dreamed of becoming a princess?

I guess there are many who haven’t. I myself have. I love fairy tales that include princesses. I love good story of a girl who earns herself the right to be a princess. I love reading news about real life princesses. Most importantly, I love a princess who becomes a queen; the queen.

So maybe what I like the most, what I dream of, is not about becoming a princess, but to become a queen.

A queen who rules over her kingdom. A queen who learns many subjects as she wants to know everything. A queen who is graceful. A queen with wisdom. A queen who is full of confidence and self-worth.

To be a queen, does someone have to be a princess first?

Can I get my flower crown, build my own kingdom, and rule over my people with wisdom and generosity and a lot of affections?

Illustrated Journaling Challenge Day #3: Cake and Diet

You can still diet even though you love desserts. You can still diet and eat dessert.


13/01/2021 – Listening to Vickeblanka’s WALK.

You can still diet even though you love desserts. You can still diet and eat dessert. Moderation is the key here.

And most importantly, you can still be perfect without having to diet.

I made this drawing to celebrate the fact that I’m determined to eat more mindfully from now on. It is not my greatest drawing ever (probably even one of the worsts) but looking back, it manages to capture my thoughts just fine.

Illustrated Journaling Challenge Day #4: Rabbits and Solitude

Maybe sometimes, we don’t know whether we’re lonely or just alone.


14/01/2021 – Listening to Hikaru Station’s Bishounen (Accoustic Ver).

People say that rabbits can die when they’re lonely. People also say that humans cannot live alone. But I wonder whether there is animal that dies when they’re surrounded by too many friends, or is there any person who suffers from the excess of friends around them?

This drawing shows a group of rabbits. They seems to have different personalities and preferences. They wear different expressions. And there is this smaller rabbit in the corner, wondering whether it belongs there.

Maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it does. Maybe it wants to be alone. Maybe it just wants different circle of friends.

Maybe sometimes, we don’t know whether we’re lonely or just alone.

Illustrated Journaling Challenge Day #1: A Bad Beginning Does Not Mean a Ruined Journey

As far as I know, illustrated journaling means capturing your day or thought in drawing. It’s something I have almost never done before. Being more comfortable with words, I find illustrated journaling a bit intimidating. But well, that’s all the more reason to take on the challenge.


11/01/2021 – Listening to Demi Lovato’s Anyone.

I found this challenge on Skillshare. I don’t have paid subscription to the site since I can’t afford it, but from time to time I check it out and take note of classes that seem interesting. Around two or three days ago, I found this Illustrated Journaling Challenge. And while I might not be able to take the guidance class or interact with other participants, I just want to participate. So that’s why I’m doing this, solo.

As far as I know, illustrated journaling means capturing your day or thought in drawing. It’s something I have almost never done before. Being more comfortable with words, I find illustrated journaling a bit intimidating. But well, that’s all the more reason to take on the challenge.

It doesn’t work out as well as I hope it would though. You can see from the picture above that what I’ve done isn’t illustrated journaling at all. I simply made a collage, composed of an illustration and
poem from a book called Sejarah Dunia yang Disembunyikan by Jonathan Black. I pasted the collage on my bullet journal’s weekly spread. But both the poem and the illustration really portray what I had felt when I worked on that particular piece. They describe, at least for me, fear and new beginning. I was in the last week of my seventh semester in college. While there was freedom in the form of upcoming holiday and the end of exam season, I was also scared because I’m approaching the end of my college life. A new beginning. A new challenge. A world unknown. In a way, they also describe how I feel about this illustrated journaling challenge. I am hesitating at the edge of my comfort zone. Will I jump? Am I brave enough? What would I face if (when) I move forward? Will I fall or will I fly?

I think someone in the past told me something though. You cannot fly if you don’t fall first. So maybe both. Maybe all.

I will jump. I will fall. Then I will fly.


Poem’s translation:

Come to the shore, says he.
They say, We’re afraid.
Come to the shore, says he.
They come. He pushes them.
They fly.