Different from Yesterday

I count the stars when the sky is empty, since I know somewhere beyond that obscurity is where you reside.

Photos by Karoline Grabowska from Pexels.

I miss you only when I’m lonely, so surely this is not love. Your warmth is no longer something I can easily remember. The memory of your voice fades but your face doesn’t. Am I shallow to be enchanted by a good lock, still encapsulated by a touch of childhood’s purity? Or am I shallow for desiring someone’s presence when my heart don’t particularly beat for them consistently?

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Someone in the Highlight

You were a kid running away from home, but you were also eighteen. The world thought you did not deserve even a tiny bit of pity.

Photos by Free-Photos from Pixabay.

You left the house when you were eighteen. Contrary to what you’d previously believed, the sky was so bright it hurt your eyes. It was as if the world was celebrating while your heart broke into pieces you had no time to collect.

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In Between

I was — I am — taking a new path, leaving all the burdens behind. Those boring black shoes. The inconvenient long-sleeved shirt. Words that got swallowed up in fear. Most importantly the fear itself.

Photo by Free-Photos from pixabay.

Remember the dawn at the harbour when we stood few feet apart, watching the crowds gathering as the moon hide behind some obscure gray clouds? You think it’s the end, but for me it’s the beginning.

I guess something did end back then though. Maybe it’s the affection, or simply the care. Nothing important since as I’ve said, for me, that was the beginning.

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BYMB: Ch. 01 – because of you i’m not wavering right now

Carmen merasa seperti terbakar. Kemarahan dan kegugupan–kekhawatiran–mengisi tubuhnya seperti minyak yang diumpankan pada kobaran api. Dalam hitungan jam, mungkin bahkan menit, ia akan terpaksa melepaskan kendali akan shirnya dan membakar sesuatu. Menghancurkan sesuatu.

Photo by Inga Seliverstova on Pexels.com

Seseorang pernah mengatakan padanya, vampir yang tidak memiliki hati tidak memiliki sihir.

Mungkin perkataan itu ada benarnya.

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Scenes Without Sound

Isn’t this nice? The silence. The colours that are muted because you can no longer feel the buzzing of each and every spectrum.

Photo by capturenow on Canva.

Take my hand and leave the deafening world. Get rid of people. Get rid of love. Get rid of the burdens stripping away the last bit of kindness you still have. 

My own world — your new home — has no place for either things. We are the only people left. There is no need for love when I plan to let go of your hand just as quickly as you take it. My company is only to pass the gate. From here on, your life is yours to live. I have no need of you. You certainly have no need of me. 

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Too Much Darkness for Rainbow

The sun breaks through layers of curtains, colouring the room red. My heart is still beating even when each thump feels like a kick to the chest.

Photos by Thiago Matos (right) and Valeriia Miller (left) from Pexels.

When my tears overflow, I wonder: is it you I hate or is it me? The sun breaks through layers of curtains, colouring the room red. My heart is still beating even when each thump feels like a kick to the chest. Is it grief that leaves me broken or is it anger? Am I sad ’cause you’re gone or am I angry ’cause I’m not the one who cuts you off? Am I selfish for not wanting it to end or am I stupid for hanging onto something that’s destined to break apart?

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Why The Sun Doesn’t Stay for the Winter

She smiled, her hand gripping the doorknob like it’s the one last thing that kept her from the freedom she sought. “If I did this, would you think it’s a lie?”

Pictures by Karolina Grabowska and Alissa Nabiullina from Pexels.

How to say goodbye? He asked.
Close the door and never come back, she said.
How to explain the farewell? He asked.
Give them a smile and say you no longer want to be around, she said.
Wouldn’t they think that’s a lie? He asked.

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